The eroninja
by lord guardian of metal jesus
Summary: Into every generation a pervert is born. Naruto shall be that pervert. features obviously Perv!naruto will feature OOC! nice!Neji
1. The prophecy

A/n I thought it would be funny to write a Perv!naruto fic from the point of view of someone asexual namely me. This will not feature lemons or smut because it is written for the humor.  
Disclaimer I don't own naruto icha icha paradise or the quote from Buffy I bastardised

The prophesy of the Sage

Jiraiya was drunk.  
This is not uncommon , neither is the fact that Jiraiya was joined on the path of alchoholism by Tsunade.  
Jiraiya is well known to ,on very rare occasion,  
wax lyrical usually on the topic of perversion or the beauty of the female form.  
As such one could be forgiven for not paying attention when he said that ''there will always be perverts but I am no pervert I am the Super-pervert'' in respone to Tsunade's questioning why all men are perverts. It seems that today Tsunade was not a happy drunk.  
Jiraiya would not come to realise the truth of his next words for many years to come.  
Jiraiya ,it would seem possesed a touch of seer blood because this was his one and only prophecy:  
''Into every generation a Pervert is born one boy in all the lands.  
A chosen one , he alone will in writing, sonnet and action express his true dedication to all things lewd.  
He alone will wield the perversion and stupidity to fight the decent, the honourable, and the forces of decency; to stop the spread of their purity and the strength of their moral highgrounds.  
He is the Ero-ninja."

A/n My first story love it? hate it? I appreciate any and all constructive critisism and feedback


	2. a new pervert is born

Naruto the Ero-ninja

imagine you are 7 years old.  
now imagine you are bored.  
this is the current position of Naruto Uzumaki , why is he bored?  
Simple no academy lessons, no villagers he can annoy and no jisan to talk to.  
He didn't even feel like having ramen fearing the boredom would ruin the taste. Yes he was that bored.  
Now imagine you are a young shinobi in training trying to practise the art of stealth.  
When you see something no child can ignore.  
An open illustrated book.  
To a child like Naruto that means it's a comic.  
But to be more accurate about what it is some poor soul had lost his favorite copy of Icha Icha Paradise volume 1.  
Seeing the picture and thinking it was an ordinary comic (bless him isn't he innocent)  
he picked it up his boredom allieviated and returned truimphantly to his room with his new trophy.  
And thus it came to pass that a pervert to surpass all others took his first steps out of innocence.

Elsewhere Kakashi was acting highly irregular, without his eye glued to a certain orange book that is.  
If Kurenai hadn't asked him everyone would have thought he had finally stopped reading it.  
Unfortunatly ,for Kakashi, it was not a conscious choice in that he had sleepwalked all the way to the jounin meeting  
(incidently it was the first time in years he was 2 rather than 3 hours late)  
and upon Kurenai's question went crazy trying to find it.  
Alas a certain orange clad 7 year old had happened upon it.  
Kakashi's screams were heard thoughout the vilage that day.

A/n I am stunned at the response to this story 100 views in a few hours for my first  
story is inspiring.  
I thought it best to mention that this will probably end up a parody of the  
main character is a perv idea  
and to freddy4200 I will try to make longer chapters but I have no  
plan for the fic and I tend to write individual scenes and put filler around it

going to end A/n there before it gets longer than the story


	3. curiousity of the fox

A/n and here we have it chapter 3 of the eroninja

curiousity killed the fox

Naruto was confused. Detractors of the fox jinchuriki would claim that this was a common state but when a child isn't taught by someone and is banned from the library it should be expected.

Naruto understood the concept's of Icha Icha Paradise surprisingly well for a seven year old. There was humor the hero ended up with the princess, the maid and most of the female cast. What Naruto couldn't properly understand was why the romance and relationships was considered so important and why the hero moped when not in the presence of a lady for more than 5 minutes.

Though Naruto was oblivious that was , to an extent, by design after all if you don't notice the name calling and that it wasn't normal to be kicked out or overcharged in stores then it can't hurt you 'out of sight, out of mind' after all but when Naruto lifted his blinders to the world he knew that he wouldn't be able to let anyone see him seeking out knowledge without them blocking every attempt out of spite so he thought like a ninja and ninja's are well known their stealth.

Naruto needed to know why and he couldn't ask anyone because they would question why he was seeking that kind of knowledge. This meant that Naruto would have to 'prank' the library , it wasn't stealing he just moved the books around and if he happened to benifit then that was just an unintended, happy coincidence right ?  
Now Naruto would not be called a genius but when he is interested in a topic he is a fast learner and that is why at 3am instead of being asleep we find Naruto blearily looking at an anatomy diagram , many medical books and romance novels scattered around him in an attempt to understand why.  
So far Naruto had learnt that A)girl's liked to be complimented often B) being 'close' to the opposite sex came from biological impulses. Finally ,thanks to the romance novels strangly , he learnt that the reason for man's obsession with physical intimacy was mainly that it felt good both physically and emotionally.

Naruto was slightly disappointed that the reasoning was so simple but still he rarely had positive physical contact with anyone so maybe he could relate a little. Naruto decided then and there that he would come to the library more often so that he could gain a better understanding of romance and emotions so that he would know what to expect , even if he didn't put that knowledge into practise for many years. Besides these novels were almost better than his comics Naruto reasoned as he left the library with a much better appreciation for the written word.

A/n I tried to write a longer chapter but I just don't think it's going to happen any time soon. Before anyone says that Naruto isn't that smart he managed to stay at the same level as someone with far more help and information than him (sasuke) with only the most basic of instruction.


	4. in the footsteps of greatness

Naruto The eroninja In the footsteps of greatness

Naruto had read that poetry was a good way of impressing girls. Naruto also knew that poetry complimenting the girl would work best , after all who doesn't like someone telling them all the good things about them?  
The problem Naruto faced was actually writing something on the level of what he had read , which for a young boy vs a professional writer of romance was not going to be easy. So far Naruto's muse had come closer to giving him lymericks and bad valentines messages, his latest attempt read as such :  
'roses are red  
ramen is tasty  
rhyming is hard  
Ramen'  
'perhaps' Naruto wondered 'it would be easier on a full stomach' and with that to Ichiraku's ramen he went. Naruto had quickly realised to keep his late night forays into the library a secret , even from people like Teuchi and Ayame , he also decided not to act on the ideas from various books until he had some definate proof that he won't be lynched for testing his thoughts in reality. 'On the bright side' Naruto figured ' all that reading has done wonders for my vocabulary'

Naruto quickly came to curse his new knowledge as he quickly came up with thoughts no child should be having . In Naruto's defence Ayame is a rather attractive girl , she was also one of the few people (and currently only female) that was nice to Naruto. If that was all Naruto could have handled it but Ayame had been working rather hard today and was working up quite a sweat from all the hot food , now normally it wouldn't be that bad for her , she had worked there a long time and was used to the heat but today she had been feeling weak and to compensate was leaning on anything available.  
This included Naruto , which caused issues because Naruto wasn't a tall person and Ayame was about a head taller than him causing Ayame to unknowingly press her 'assets' against the poor would be poet.  
Naruto had to make a prodigious effort not to react to what he could feel against the back of his head because her father was looking right at him , holding a meat cleaver , Naruto's face didn't react but he was a little redder than normal and was trying desperatly to burn this image into his head forever. Really at this point Naruto's innocence wouldn't live past the day. However his imagination would be much better off and in later years Naruto happily agreed that it was a fair trade.  
Naruto promised that as soon as he got home he would write down every thing he was thinking about Ayame (that wouldn't get him slapped) because it really was better than everything else he had written combined. Naruto then began to think 'if I can do better when I am actually experiencing what I'm writing about surely if I look at the girl I want to write about while I take notes then I'm guarenteed to come up with something'

Somewhere in fire country  
Jiraiya sneezed 'clearly some beauty was thinking about me and why wouldn't she think about such a brilliant specimin of the male gender'. Let it never be said that Jiraiya was a humble man, or in this case correct. Jiraiya , for some unexplicable reason , found himself flashing back to the first time he thought about gathering 'research' with the perverse giggle he was famous for.

A/n I know that theres a bit of a jump for Naruto in literary ability and perverseness but Naruto is still a kid and he's not even aware that what he's doing is going to be perverted YET when he does realise expect questioning followed by acceptance


	5. hotspring deceptions

A/n warning anyone offended by profanity may want to skip Naruto's minor breakdown Naruto The Eroninja chapter 5 Hotspring Deception

Naruto was torn. He needed a place where he could look at girls but without them seeing him writing about them , 'That would end so well for me' Naruto thought , thinking over his options.  
Naruto knew he couldn't use any girl he knew because they WOULD kill him leaving him the option of older women that ..  
might be ...more understanding 'Oh who am I trying to kid they are just as likely to hate me they just don't see me on a regular basis'.  
Naruto could only think of one place that would allow him to see the women and provide him with a place to hide but it was THE most dangerous idea ever , Naruto was going to have to peek at the women at the hotsprings. Naruto couldn't quite repress a shudder as he thought of one person who got caught peeping at the hotsprings , he didn't get out of the hospital for 3 MONTHS and he was a jounin. Naruto could not get caught doing this and survive. 'Well it is done in the name of literary genius I suppose' Naruto tried and succeeded in , justifying his blatent insanity to himself as he prepared for the most dangerous adventure he had ever set off on.

Naruto steeled his nerves , muttered a short prayer to Kami and double checked he was unobserved before sneaking over to a small hole in the wall of the hotspring , readying his notepad as he went. Naruto had forgotten one important fact about hotsprings, everyone in there was naked , as a result Naruto had to sacrifice the first page of his new notepad to stem the tide of blood from his nose. After that initial problem though Naruto had lots to write about , he tried to focus on one women because she had purple hair (poor poor Naruto) which was quite a unique trait and she was amazingly beautiful in this Naruto's luck was about to chage because Naruto had not known that wednesday's are traditionally when the kunoichi of the leaf use the hotsprings . In addition someone probably should have told Naruto that somepeople , for instance Anko Mitarashi, can tell when someone is looking at them which is what lead to Naruto who was staring into the peephole in the wall to feel a sharp burst of pain in his eye ,when one of the women poked it out.

Clutching his eye in pain and hearing cries of pervert from the women within Naruto did the sensible thing ,he lost his mind

'they know I'm here FUCK, they know I'm here, what do I do SHIT SHIT SHIT what do I do , I'm going to die , they're going to kill me! WAIT thats it ,I am a genius' Naruto screamed inside his brain , panic allieviated as he realised the only possible wayout , act like I am a sympathetic , innocent child that did nothing wrong.

And so the great lie began as Naruto shouted '' HEY old man what are you doing there that's the women's side of the hotsprings''  
Naruto could hear the women's thundering footsteps and knew he had to go all out so he continued '' Get off me! No let go of me ''  
Naruto pretended to scream in terror before to really sell the idea he took a heavily chakra infused leap , directly backwards into the hotspring , PURPOSELY landing head first on the concrete floor before letting out a very real whimper of pain causing the previously angry kunoichi to crowd around the boy who had got hurt trying to 'protect their modesty' to make sure he's alright ,forgetting their lack of clothing after all he's only a boy it's not like he was looking at them before or anything ,right?  
Naruto's last thoughts before drifting off into injury induced unconciousness were of the beautiful purple haired lady currently hugging him and his final coherent sentance , thankfully for him not spoken aloud , 'Well now I know that if being a ninja doesn't work out I could always be an actor , that performance deserved an award. I gladly accept my notepad and any hugs from beautiful women on behalf of the academy.' If anyone noticed that Naruto passed out with a light blush and a small smile no one commented on it.

Meanwhile the Hokage wiped his blood-stained nose and deactivated the crystal ball he was using to keep an eye on Naruto with a laugh , completly amazed at the boy's daring and ingenuity and highly surprised he was able to lie , in a high stress situation, well enough to fool dozens of highly trained kunoichi ' then again' Sarutobi thought 'it could just be that seeing a child in pain touched that maternal instinct... wait what am I thinking Anko was part of that group'. Despite his thoughts the only outward response to the situation was a simple comment ''Naruto you truly are going to keep surprising me'' ''I think your father would be laughing and proud..ish , your mother not so much''

A/n that didn't suck as much as I thought it would. I just love the idea of Naruto spying on trained ninja, Getting Caught and STILL managing to lie his way out of it on the fly. I think that for the story it will mainly be unknown that Naruto is a pervert and that it is only his thoughts that really give him away with a few exceptions.


	6. the aftermath

Naruto The Eroninja The Aftermath

Naruto was fine. He had recovered from his head injury , he didn't have a concussion so 'why in GOD'S NAME DO I HAVE TO STAY HERE'. Naruto was fine, apart from the fact that he hated hospitals. So he tried to distract himself with thoughts of the escapades that had caused his time in this white-washed hell.  
Naruto couldn't decide whether it was worth it. On the one hand he got to see and was hugged by the purple haired beauty and had written almost 4 pages on her alone. On the other hand he would have got caught if he hadn't decided to genius his way out which was what landed him in the hospital. Naruto couldn't decide but one thing he knew , he was not trying that again without an escape route that doesn't involve knocking himself unconcious. After hearing about the kunoichi he had also decided that he would be a jounin capable of defending himself from everything they could throw at him before he came back on a wednesday , unfortunatly that meant he wouldn't get to see that beautiful lady again for many years but in return for his safety he could deal with that.  
Naruto couldn't wait to get out and retrieve his notepad , thankfull that he had the foresight to hide it so that it wouldn't be found and destroyed. He had so many things to write down , not just his musings on what he had seen but things to research and ideas on how he might evade detection 'and maybe how to blow up Konoha General hospital , what he really didn't like hospitals'

Naruto would have continued his thoughts on destruction if the Hokage hadn't chose that moment to visit Naruto.  
''So Naruto are you enjoying your stay'' the old man said with a grin. ''That's not funny old man I don't need to be here , I'm fine and I have things to do''. Naruto angrily replied ''Oh would those things by any chance involve the hotsprings , the ladies were quite generous in praising you for trying to defend them , you know''the kage questioned ''w-well it just didn't seem right that that old man was watching them'' Naruto answered scratching the back of his head sheepishly while thinking 'damn it , he knows I'm sure he knows, wait the old man's nice , maybe he won't rat me out or at least wait till I've updated my will'.  
''Really Naruto I don't think the 'man' was that old after all he seemed like he was about your age''the Hokage said as he turned to leave with one final parting comment ''While it was a creative escape I would prefer that you not get caught again , seeing you in pain is only funny for the first few minutes'' And then the Hokage took a notepad out of his pocket and gave it back to Naruto before leaving Naruto alone with his thoughts.  
'Hang on a minute the old man didn't tell me not to do stuff like that , he just said don't get caught' Naruto realised and took the old man's words as a blanket pass on what he was doing (didn't think that through did ya Sarutobi).  
He decided to spend his time flicking through his notes and when he came to the end he saw a message that he knew he didn't write it read ''Anko Mitarashi , 'your purple haired beauty', as you describe her is a tokubetsu jounin in the interrogation and torture department , with emphasis on the TORTURE part. While it's cute seeing you describe one of the scariest people in the leaf in such terms you may want to find a less dangerous crush''  
'Huh' Naruto thought 'I didn't expect that but if he thinks I will cease using such a beautiful women as a subject of my writing just because she can kill me then he doesn't know me so well. But maybe avoid anything that would cause her to kill me'.  
'On the bright side I know her name now and if she's nearly a jounin then maybe she could end up my jounin sensei.' Naruto thought as he lost himself to fantasy.

A/n bit shorter but I couldn't see a way of continuing. No Anko won't be leading Naruto's team he was just thinking. I have too much I can do with Kakashi reading icha icha when Naruto secretly loves the series. I might move to the academy next chapter ,try to actually progress the story.


	7. Interlude 1 Neji's first rebellion

''blah'' character speaking  
'blah' character thinking  
A/n I know I said about the academy but I got an idea so it will have to wait .I don't why but I just love Neji as a character maybe because he deals with Gai and Lee daily or maybe because when his worldview is proved wrong he quite calmly accepts it.

Eroninja interlude 1  
Naruto vs the byakugan/Neji's rebellion part 1

''for the last time leave , if you carry on this senseless quest for information we will use force to remove you'' one of the Hyugga guards monotonously stated.  
''You can't do this that information should be public knowledge'' argued Naruto ''the byakugan and the knowledge of how it works is a clan secret , it is not to be shared with common trash'' the guard exclaimed breaking the serenity the Hyugga are known for. Hearing this Hiashi as clan head was driven to intervene to protect the byakugan.  
''And just why are you looking for information on the byakugan?'' ''you , you selfish pervert ! A jutsu letting you look through objects should be shared for the benifit of mankind , the amount of good that could be done knowing how it worked is amazing and just because you don't want to give up your ability to spy on everyone. I wonder how often you walk near the hotsprings with your byakugan active ?''  
Naruto shouted attracting quite a few onlookers. Let it never be said that Naruto was nice to people he didn't like , the boy has the capacity to be ruthless based on the looks some of the women were giving Hiashi.  
''How dare you! The byakugan is a sacred proof of the Hyugga genetics'' two black marks on the Hyugga calm today it seems.  
''I will learn to see through objects , mark my words Hyugga clan despite your genetic predisposition I will be just as obsevant as any Hyugga and I'll find a way of stopping you poking your nose into other people's lives.'' decreed Naruto storming off.  
'Yeah I'll stop them right after I figure out a way round it can't have my research stopped , it's for the greater good after all'  
One of the people overhearing couldn't help but feel a sense of vindictive glee at seeing such a spectacle. This person was no other than 10 year old Neji Hyugga wondering who the child could be that he could so brazenly insult the Hyugga clan head and whether he could buy the kid a medal.  
'well kid you are definatly brave but Hiashi will make you suffer for embarrassing him like that'. 'Well here's my good deed for the day' Neji thought before trying to catch up to Naruto.''Hey kid wait up'' Neji said surprised at the boy's speed ''yeah what is it''  
''are you aware that you just insulted the head of the largest clan in the leaf ?'' Neji questioned ''Yeah , what's it matter'' answered Naruto '' it matters because you will probably be blacklisted from shops that rely on the Hyugga clan for business which is most of them.  
At this Naruto laughed and said '' you don't know me do ya. I'm banned from most shops anyway so if that's all he can do it's not gonna stop me''  
'huh it could be quite fun watching this kid cause trouble for the main branch' thought Neji , finally recognising Konoha's number one trickster.  
''well kid if you want to use the byakugan you're out of luck because it's genetic''  
Naruto waved him off saying ''I know that but if I knew how it worked maybe I could create a jutsu that mimics it''

A/n Not very happy with this chapter may come back and edit later but for now here you go. Also I think I'm going to turn Neji into a mentor helping Naruto so he can laugh at everyone else's expense. Also I think Neji's reaction to Naruto could have happened like this because Neji did hate the main branch


	8. how and dear kami why

A/n I don't own the limerick Eroninja How and Dear GOD Why?

Naruto was at the academy today. This was normal . What wasn't normal was that he had not been in for the past week.  
Naruto was having trouble with his feelings on the one hand he liked Sakura on the other his new knowledge said she was a bitch.  
The reason was simple Naruto and his new found perspective had come to the conclusion that she was not worth it. It had been tough for Naruto to recognise that fact but it remains true that he had been nothing but courteous to her , since the first day at the academy and she had done nothing but hurt him both verbally and physically. Nothing Naruto had read supported this as acceptable behaviour and he pitied her because she has to date , given up her best (only) friend Ino for a boy (Sasuke) that barely recognised her existence , alienated said boy by acting like a fangirlish banshee and now driven away the only person that was ever consistantly nice to her (Naruto). Regardless of the feelings Naruto may have had for her he couldn't justify the time , effort and eventual heartbreak and so he moved on , in true prankster style of course.

Today Naruto was at the academy. This is normal. Everyone was terrified , this was not normal. For the past week Iruka had truly despaired for Naruto having noticed his strange behaviour when he went to check on him and had resolved to ask him about it next time they went out for ramen. Based on the superglue currently keeping him in his seat that could be awhile. Iruka took heart in the fact that he was not the only victim of Naruto's recovery because so far he had seen Sasuke's equipment replaced with porn , Kiba had a flea collar stuck around his neck and Ino's hair looked like it had been tie dyed.

Naruto was waiting for his latest victim. He had decided that today he was going to prank everyone , including Sakura something he had always avoided before now. His current target was Shino and he couldn't really think what he could do. He was about to move on and get him later when it came to him. Naruto had never seen Shino's eyes , Naruto was so stealing Shino's glasses but since he had no idea how yet he would move on for now. Next up was Chouji and he knew what he needed to do , he had to distract Chouji so he had a shot at Shikamaru later so he had liberally applied itching and sneezing powder sending the poor Akamichi into hysterics which were only made worse when someone questioned whether he needed the flea collor more than Kiba.  
This left the sleeping Shikamaru undefended and since Naruto was sitting close to him he was able to get a marker and start drawing.  
When he was finished Shikamaru had eyebrows that would put Gai's to shame , down one side of his face he had put a fairly standard message of 'for a good time call Shikamaru' and a penis leading into his mouth and on the other he had got creative and written a full limerick of  
'An exceedingly fat friend of mine,  
When asked at what hour he'd dine,  
Replied, "At eleven, At three, five, and seven,  
And eight and a quarter past nine.'  
Naruto looked at what he had done and for a moment felt he had gone too far , then he remembered all the times he had been screwed over by Shikamaru's shadow possession jutsu , took a picture and moved on.

Naruto thought through pranking everyone but when he looked at Hinata he couldn't think of a single thing Hinata had done to him to justify it and in fact could not think of a time Hinata had been anything but nice, if a bit shy , towards anyone. Because of this Naruto decided to leave Hinata out of it and when he had fully absolved himself of his feelings for Sakura would think through what that meant. 'Regardless of anything else she's definatly one for the poetry list' Naruto thought ashamed at himself for having ignored the beautiful bluenette. 'Maybe it's the hair colour' Naruto questioned humourously ' first Sakura and her hair to match her namesake , then Anko's beautiful purple locks and now Hinata's lovely blue hair framing her angelic face' Naruto took a few moments to think on this before inevitably being distracted by exactly how he knew of Anko's beauty.

'Moving on before I get a nosebleed' Naruto decided. ' It's time for the main event' the 'main event' in this case being Sakura , Naruto had quite a few ideas but he was stuck between 2 in particular the first would involve having a small cherry tree growing from her forehead and the second would have her resemble a pink gorilla 'if she punches like one and has the same manners she should look the same too' Naruto thought darkly. Now Naruto wasn't actually capable of either feat but over the year or so of studying he had found many books on chakra control nothing very advanced but enough to manage a few prank genjutsu even with Naruto's chakra capacity. Naruto eventually considered it impossible to choose and so went with both. Anyone walking outside the academy that day checked themselves into the hospital because seeing a screming pink gorilla with a tree coming out of it just wasn't normal , even in a ninja village.  
Naruto cleverly set his little trick on a delay so he could get around to Shino first. If Naruto had known then he would have reconsidered... or at least booked therapy in advance.

Naruto was terrified. This was the peak of abnormality. Under the circumstances however it was entirly justified. You know those blood vessels you can see when your eyes are bloodshot? Shino didn't have them , instead he had BUGS crawling around INSIDE HIS EYES.  
Naruto tried to avoid swearing he really did , can't have girls thinking he's ungentlemanly after all, there were however times he felt it was neccessary so if questioned about it Naruto would firmly uphold that he was in the right.

''Shino you have BUGS in your EYES , what the fuck man I mean why would you do that HOW AND DEAR SWEET KAMI WHY would you allow that to happen to yourself. Naruto felt faint it could be the bugs it could be the gorilla that just attacked him but even so he couldn't help but feel a little smug , he had succeeded after all , he might wish he hadn't but still. As Naruto's vision was replaced by a curtain of blackness his last thought before passing into sweet oblivion was simple 'totally worth it I have pictures of everything' Naruto could always look at the bright side so despite his horror and possible concussion Naruto still passed out with a grin on his face.

'Yes' Iruka realised 'today was a perfectly normal day , Sasuke was brooding , Hinata was shy , Naruto was inflicting mental trauma on everyone in his vicinity , what had he been worried about , whatever problem Naruto was having he pitied it for having to face the mastermind behind such a catastrophe' Iruka decided as he abandoned his dignity , ripping the back of his combat pants on the superglued chair , to deal with the various problems of the class. Sasuke was passed out from blood loss , clearly he was not used to THAT kind of reading material ,Sakura had been knocked unconcious by her own stupidity , running headfirst into a wall. Iruka couldn't help but envy the class' wallflower because out of everyone Hinata was entirely unscathed Naruto might not have got round to pranking her 'or ' Iruka thought 'there could be another reason for her safety , I see mocking in Naruto's future'

A/n done , that was fun to write definatly one of my favorites. thank you to fan after reading your review I checked the chapter and was surprised to see that my formatting on notepad had been almost entirely ignored by fanfiction from now on I will check chapters ON FANFICTION rather than just notepad before posting


	9. focus of the downtrodden

A/n no one ask where I get chapter titles I really don't know they just appear regardless of whether they fit or not.  
the eroninja focus of the downtrodden

Sasuke was ...ashamed I guess? By how much he had enjoyed Naruto's prank but also the fact that here he was breaking into the library for more porn. Oh he didn't really admit that, if questioned he was checking whether they were real books and how Naruto knew THAT kind of literature ...but really he was in it for the porn.  
It wasn't really his fault, after all Naruto had a rather large mental repository of images to project on his ninja equipment many made just to appeal to boys like Sasuke. So far Sasuke had managed to confirm several things. 1 Naruto had very good taste in porn. 2 despite rumors to the contrary (Kiba's fault) Sasuke was DEFINATLY straight. 3 Sasuke WAS going to rebuild his clan, that way even if he failed as an avenger he still fucked Itachi's plans to wipe out the Uchiha.  
Sasuke had, after a moments hesitation packed up the things he had found for reading later 'maybe if he was careful he could hide it in his history book, it's not like he really had to know the Nidaime's birthday offhand was it ?'  
It was then that the shock of his life happened as he was walking out of the library he walked, quite literally, into Naruto spilling both of the boy's reading material over the floor. Sasuke looked at the books Naruto had and couldn't help but blush at the ero and anatomy but couldn't help feeling impressed at the books on chakra, slightly revising his opinion of Naruto 'he pulled off pranks getting through the guard of everyone at the Academy and he has been studying could it be an act.' Naruto was terrified to say the least. Sasuke had discovered him and while it was funny knowing that Naruto's prank had allowed Sasuke to see something other than himself, there was no question that he was fucked. Knowing Sasuke he either wouldn't bother telling anyone, which is great or he'd reveal it to anyone he could , less great.  
Sasuke realised that Naruto wasn't going to be the one to start this conversation and so tried to keep things lighthearted and away from blackmail potential and so with false cheer (it's Sasuke think slightly less moody than normal) declared ''well seems we've both decided to stock up on reading material for Iruka's lectures.''  
Naruto was happy, he could work with jokes, he was somewhat back in his comfort zone. He was still utterly confused that SASUKE of all people was joking with him but it's a start. ''I guess it's not just me and Shika that don't pay attention then but really with Sakura and Ino it's kind of difficult to hear Iruka over the screeching.'' Naruto replied.  
Sasuke then did something Naruto wasn't expecting, he facepalmed before groaning and asking Naruto ''why do they have to be such fangirls? Don't they realise that if they don't spend time training then they'll die as soon as they have a real mission?''  
''Well maybe if their brilliant brooding avenger told them that they might listen'' Naruto answered grin firmly back in place.  
''You know I might just do that, then at least their fights might get interesting, who knows maybe they'll end up ripping cl0thes off'''  
Sasuke stated with a small smirk ending the conversation with ''I assume that neither of us will be mentioning this to anyone else.''  
Naruto however was known for getting the last word and so he took the parting shot of ''I'm not telling but if you need references for new books or want to complain about fangirls you know where to find me.''  
As Sasuke walked he considered what had just happened carefully 'yeah Naruto's definatly more than he appears and I really need to sort out my priorities' Sasuke knew that one day he would kill Itachi but that doesn't mean that he has to obsess until it happens. Sasuke cast away all deep thought as he opened the book he had decided on 'icha icha paradise' and for the first time in many years Sasuke finally reacted like a normal teenager when he turned the page as he let out a faint cry of ''yay tits!''

Somewhere in fire country ''And so in a strange turn of events a second pervert shall be born as a friend and rival to the Chosen. He will follow the Chosen's path and together they shall perv beyond any perverts before ''  
'Man I've got the lay off the sake' a certain white-haired sannin thought once again making prophecy with the aid of alchohol.

A/n I can't tell you how fun that was to write or how unplanned it was. Just imagine Naruto- covert pervert Sasuke- partner in crime Sakura - stalker and Kakashi - porn lover all on one team.  
Team Pervert Lives! Mwhahahahaha.


End file.
